Cutest blowfish you ever did see! With the longest toes, ever. 1lb 10oz.

We went for our 20 week ultrasound on the 13th, and after getting my blood drawn (my hypothyroid symptoms are back), we we went back to the ultrasound room. Chit chat is ridiculously hard when you just want the tech to get to the lookin’. He squirted a load of really warm gel on my belly then began looking. He began by showing us the huge head and the sweetest little hands I have ever seen. Then he went to the pot belly (measuring in at 13oz), and the legs. The baby flipped over and mooned us.

I was thinking, “Awesome! Cute little bum means cute little whoosiewhatsit coming soon.” So then he shows us the legs. THE CROSSED LEGS! “Come on, baby, uncross your legs.” Looking back on that now, that could’ve been where it all went wrong. Bowchickabowwow music comes on and it turns into a porno, but I wasn’t even thinking of it that way. I just wanted a shot of a winkie or a non! That sounded a little strange, too, didn’t it?….Moving on…

So, there I am, laying on my back, worrying that we’re not going to find out what this baby is and have to raise it on green and yellow for the first few months, when the tech SMACKS my belly. I’m not kidding. Thwapped it! The baby’s legs did open, however - Probably as shocked as I was that it just got smacked – and we got a good enough shot that both the tech and I knew immediately. The tech even said he’d bet $100 on it. Eric’s not so sure, but luckily we’ll be going back on the 13th of next month to confirm. However, as far as we know…

It’s a winkie!
Say hello to Benjamin Middle-name-yet-to-be-determined!

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I went to my appointment yesterday, and discussed the spotting with the doctor. She whipped out the doppler, and, lo and behold, there was the little heartbeat. Around 160bpm. That was so comforting. However, because of the spotting, and placenta previa, she sent me in for an emergency ultrasound downstairs in the hospital.

First, I had to drink 24oz of water before the appointment. I did, but I did it entirely too early and had to pee right before I went in. So, I drank about 28oz in the waiting room. It was horrifying. Who’s idea was it to make pregnant women drink insane amounts of water right before you press (hard) on their bellies?!

I got my first “on belly” ultrasound and it was strange. The pictures are no where near as clear. Of course, that could be partially due to the machine not being nearly as good as the one in my OBs office. She spent about 30 minutes on top of my belly, then had me go pee so she could check my cervix with a transvaginal. She got about 10 minutes into that and said, “Your bladder’s already filling up…Could you maybe go pee again? I can’t see anything.” So I went again, and 10 minutes later, it began filling up again. She said she’d probably already gotten every picture she needed, so she had me get redressed, called Eric in and went back to a belly ultrasound so he could see.

Unfortunately, we couldn’t have pictures because it was an emergency, but we got to see the little one moving around a bit. S/He was laying on it’s side with one arm under his head, the other across his body and under his head. It was adorable. The head is now more in proportion to the body, which makes my vagina and I much less nervous. Still, the baby is HUGE! It’s still measuring at least a week early in length, but I’m sticking to my July 1st date. It’s so beautiful. I can’t wait for July to get here.

When the tech first put the little one on the screen, it was laying on its back, still as a rock. He said he saw the heartbeat (I saw nothing but a baby not moving and my worst fears realized), pointed the little arrow at it, and nothing. No noise, and no movement for an entire 1-2 seconds. Did he really see a heartbeat? Was he guessing? Why isn’t there a sound? I killed my child with botchulism.

And there it went. Vum-vum-vum. And then…it moved. I’m not talking little movement, either. I’m talking flipping over, flailing it’s limbs, kicking and twisting as if it was on the olympic gymnastics team. I was surprised.

“Is it…moving,” I had to ask the tech because I wasn’t sure if I was insane or not.
“Yup, it sure is.”
“That’s…that’s…weird.”

It really is weird to know there’s a little one in there flopping about like a crazy person and I can’t feel a thing. It’s even weirder to know it has a huge head, and looks like a human. The weirdest thing, though, is this little, 3cm, big headed human is flailing around like a crazy person inside ME. I hate to make this all about me, but it’s strange to be pregnant for the first time. It’s just not normal.

We have a baby. A real, live kicking and flailing baby. It’s all of 3cm long, with a heart rate of 162 bpm. The baby is “growing like a weed” (so says the tech), and is measuring a week ahead of schedule. This is typical for my family, we tend to have long babies that are estimated to be extremely tall in life, but we never are. So even though he changed the due date to June 25th, I’m sticking with July 1st.

 He did, however, say that the food poisoning bleeding probably came from the placenta. It’s sitting over the cervix. He said that would, most likely, grow up with the uterus and it won’t be a worry later on. I’m trying not to worry about it and am hoping it will correct itself.

I went to my 3rd OB appointment yesterday. I love the women in that office and I love my doctor. Seriously, they rock.

The appointment started off with the same ol’, same ol’. Weight gain = 1lb. Pee = Still pregnant. Blood pressure = Perfect. The nurse asked if I’d felt the baby moving yet. NO! Am I supposed to? Ack, there’s a baby inside me! What the hell?!?

When the doctor came in, she ran through the usual questions. Any cramping? No. Any bleeding? Yes, but I wasn’t worried about it. It was during the heavy yakking of the food poisoning. Well, that did warrant a worry, apparently, and I have to get another ultrasound. Not that I’m complaining! I’d love to have another picture of the little sucker. I’m just worried now.

She put the cold gel on my belly and popped down the doppler. She warned me that we probably wouldn’t hear the heartbeat since I was all of 10 weeks, and it’s normal to hear it at 12. 1 minute of strange gurgling noises out of the machine later, no heartbeat. “Don’t worry, it’s normal.” Great…bleeding, ultrasound, no heartbeat.

My appointment is tomorrow and I’m scared they’re going to tell me the baby’s heart stopped beating when I gave it botchilism last week. They’re going to tell me my body is so f’d that it didn’t even eject it itself. They’re going to tell me all my hopes went down the drain with a polish sausage and onions.

I’m scared and I’m trying not to freak out but it’s incredibly hard. My nausea is almost gone, that’s not helping. I’m scared, which is probably normal, really.