My son made it quite…

((As I begin to type this my son topples head first onto the floor, slamming his head hard enough that the sound resonates through the entire house. His father and I got there before he even let out a tiny cry, and then he plays it up when he notices we’re worried. You can tell they’re growing up when they begin to get manipulation. We’ve got ourselves a big boy! A big boy with a huge red spot on his head. Yowch.

Back to our program already in progress…))

clear that he much preferred adults over babies this weekend. On Saturday, we had our usual hours long conversation about politics and fiat currency with Eric’s friend. That evening, however, we had a dinner and get together at the Children’s Museum with other kids from the TEDDY study.

“What the hell is a 7 6.75 month old going to do at the Children’s Museum?” you ask. “You just went for the free food, didn’t you?” you accuse.

Jerk. While the free food was intriguing, I was hoping we might be able to socialize Ben a little. Maybe with some babies his own age or a bit older. Getting him into interacting with someone other than his parents and other aged individuals, I thought, might be a good thing. Now don’t you feel bad?

Immediately after signing in we beeline for the food line. (Come on! It was Olive Garden!) In front of us was a very uptight and pissy mother, an obviously nice but nervous father, and an adorable, pissed off baby girl probably about 10 months old. The mom is grumbling something at the dad, the dad is trying desperately to point out fun things for his daughter to look at and the daughter? She’s SCREAMING at the top of her lungs. Not crying. She’s doing the, “YOU PEOPLE ARE PISSING ME OFF!” sort of scream. Ben cranes his neck to look around me and her daddy so he can give her one of my favorite looks. The “what-the-heck-is-your-issue” look. This is the look he proceeded to give every child thoughout the entire museum.

I suppose I’m not surprised. My mom’s always said that, as a baby, I would look at my peers as if they were aliens. Not just aliens, but stupid aliens. Eric’s said that, when he was a child, he always thought other kids were idiots. We seem to have another anti-social child on our hands.

He did, however, enjoy the time he spent with just us; rocking on the lily pad, playing with the gear wall, playing with the giant legos, sliding on the slide. No so much sliding on the slide. He cried. No matter how slow you went or how tightly you held, he cried. I was scared of the slide, too, when I was little. Who says nuerosis aren’t genetic?

Sunday we had our weekly family visit with my grandparents and then, dinner with my parents. He cooed, he talked, he had a great time interacting with all the old folks. The only time anyone would get one of “those” looks was when they baby talked to him or tried to get him to play with anything other than a remote control. God forbid you should hand him a toy!

I have a feeling my son’s going to be a lot like me as a kid. I have a feeling he’ll be a bit of a loner with a great mind and a little disgust for the “vroom-vroom” of the kids around him. I just hope it won’t keep him from having friends. I mean, he’s already got a mama with piercings and tattoos (which is enough to keep most moms away), but if he keeps looking at kids like he does now, I’m going to end up being his date to the prom. Oh my, the therapy bills…

Benjaroo Jan 30th, 2008

Originally uploaded by jessiscubed

14lbs
25 5/8th inches

Ben’s second Teddy visit went wonderfully well. We had an amazing nurse and we got them to take the blood from his foot instead of vein this time. He nursed while she poked him. She kept saying, “He’s going to get mad when I do this…” He didn’t even notice. He bit me twice, though, because she wouldn’t let go of his foot. Those two little teeth are sharp!

So, I’m tired and this picture is adorable. I’m hoping it’ll suffice and make up for an extremely lackluster post.

At the TEDDY study, the lady handed me a sheet of paper, “These are the things that may have happened to you during your pregnancy. Just tell me the numbers if any happened.” I began reading down the list:
Serious illness in the family…check
Family member hospitalized…check
Injury caused to yourself…check
Moved…check
Got married…check
Serious arguments with family members…check
Family member died…check
Lost or quit a job…check
Financial issues for yourself…check
Financial issues for your spouse…check

Her three lines for the stressors were filled, and the remainder of the numbers continued down the side of the page.

“Okay, so…what trimester did all these things happen?” The majority of it was in the first and second.

“You had a really busy pregnancy. Geeze. Like, really busy…” She was obviously in awe, as was I. I hadn’t realized, until that moment, that I had a really, like really, busy pregnancy. Things that really should’ve knocked me for a loop and pushed me into laying in a fetal position in the corner of my closet, crying for mercy.

But it didn’t and that makes me incredibly proud.

“Well, at least it’s not too bad now!”
“Yeah, it’s great…well, then he got colic and food allergies and then we got the diabetes call, so…”
She laughed, and I laughed with her but was wondering if I should have been. The past year and change has been a never-ending cacaphony of bad news, but it’s never really hit me as such. It’s always been case-by-case. Tomorrow’s a new day. I’ve never let it pile on top of itself. As well as it’s worked for me thus far, I wonder how sustainable it can be. I mean, shouldn’t all those things have had me holed up in a closet somewhere? Shouldn’t I be taking mass amounts of blood pressure medication and martinis? Why am I not freaking out here?

While I hope I never actually have that moment where I realize nothing has stopped since becoming pregnant, I do, on occasion, want to have a few “lost my mind” moments. Moments where I run around the house in a leotard, tutu and stripey toe socks while singing, “I’m tired of dancin’ here all by my-se-helf!” without being questioned. And, you know, I think I’ve finally found the perfect excuse. “But…I’m stressssssssssssssed!”

Ben’s first TEDDY visit was today and, let me say, it was as horrifying as expected and more.

It started unassumingly enough. We waited in a child’s playroom/waiting room on mini-chairs. We spoke to another set of parents. We were ushered into an “Infant Examination Room” by a nice woman who spent an hour explaining our consent form. We then went over the surveys we’d already filled out….

{{Here we take a break because Ben has pooed and we must collect the sample to mail to NIDDK}}

The survey filling out was followed by an explanation of our billion page book where we write his food, his stressors, his shots, his everything. Then an explanation of how to fill our 3 day diet record sheet. Then an explanation on how to collect the aforementioned poo in a plastic rigatoni shaped collector and send it off to the aforementioned NIDDK.

And then came the horrifying part. Her promises of only taking a half of a teaspoon of blood were lies. Everything she said was a horrible lie.

They laid him on a table and tied off his arms, “Ooh, you have a good one here.” Lovely. They gave me a little bowl of sugar water, “This is what they used at his circ to distract him…”
“Uh, we didn’t have him circ’d because we didn’t want to hurt him.”
“…Oh….Well, just dip his binky in this and he won’t even notice. It usually just bothers them that they’re being held down.”
Here she brandishes a large needle. I get nervous and want to take him away. But I don’t because I’m apparently evil.
So I dip the binky and shove it in his mouth right as they stick him with the needle.

SCREEEEEEECH!!

Can I just say, BULLSHIT THEY DON’T FEEL IT! That screech had nothing to do with holding him down. And it didn’t stop until well after they took the needle out, despite the sugar water. Add to it that the blood “Just wasn’t coming fast enough” so the wiggled it around. Another SCREECH when they removed the needle and then sobbing afterwards.

It was horrifying and made me feel like a jerk. I know it’s all for his own good, and he was fine within a few minutes of leaving, but still, he’s a baby and that is a horrible thing to do to a baby. Their blood shouldn’t come out! That’s why the body has so many things working to keep it in!

My only regret is that I didn’t deck her afterwards. I think it would’ve made both he and I feel better.

24″ long
12lbs
16 7/16″ head

3 shots that gave him a terrible fever and a little diarrhea. Due to the diabetes thing and his eczema, he cannot start solids until he’s 6 months. It’s too bad because he grabs at us everytime we’re eating something and stares at us as if we’ve just sold national secrets to the Soviets when we eat and he doesn’t get anything. I feel awful, but it’s better for him in the long run.

He goes in Tuesday for his first TEDDY appointment. Keep him in your thoughts. It’s his first blood draw. Poor kid.