I didn’t want my dear friend to feel alone. Children falling off of things happens to all of us. Luckily, they’re resiliant little buggers.

On Wednesday, I was putting a screeching Ben into his car seat, which I had (against all advisories on the car seat itself) on top of the couch. As Eric walked into the living room, trying to clear a small path through the piles of fabric on the floor, he grumbled, “Maybe we can take a half an hour when we get home and clean up the fabric from the floor?”

As I turn to give him a dirty look (again, GO SMART MAMA BRAINS!), I hear a THUMP! Ben had fallen, head first, out of the car seat and off of the couch onto…THE GIANT PILE OF FABRIC ON THE FLOOR.

Best reason to never, ever clean again.

Or, you know, not turn my back on Ben when he’s on the couch by himself.

I’m going to go with the no cleaning thing.

Ben had his first serious fall today. Scared the shit out of me and his father and nearly killed his great-grandma.

We were going into Sweet Tomatoes for Eric’s early birthday dinner. Eric jumped a puddle. Grandma, never to be outdone at 82, even when holding Ben, decided to try herself, too. She missed the step and went face first into the concrete. She managed to land on her knee first and block Ben from the ground with her arm but she did fall on top of him.

Talk about a “What the hell do I do” moment. Do you grab the baby or worry about the old lady on the ground? Eric grabbed Ben, I asked grandma if she was okay. I actually think I yelled it at her because I was freaking out. Grabbed a screaming Ben away from Eric and took him a few feet away to make sure he was okay and kill him with hugs if the fall didn’t do it first.

And here is where I see blood and my heart stops. “He’s bleeding!” Grandma is still on the floor. Dad and grandpa and some passerbys are trying to help her up. Mom scurries over, takes one look and says, “He bit his lip. It’s okay!” Me? Pale as a ghost, Eric says, and I was trying not to cry. “He hit his head! Check his head!” grandma tells me from the ground. I check his head, it’s fine but I’m convinced there’s internal bleeding or something horrific.

Grandma gets up but is sick to her stomach and her knee & neck hurt. I want to leave and go home. Mom makes us go in and eat. Well, everyone else ate. I just sat there trying not to puke as I looked at his perfect little lip swell to the size of a marble.

Grandma was worried everyone hated her but we got past that. She’s got neck & knee pain while Ben’s a happy camper. His lip swelling went down but he does have a little red spot on the back of his head that’s worrying me. It’s not swollen but it’s definitely there. I’m now not going to sleep tonight for fear that he may just stop breathing at any moment and I’m really not even kidding about that.

New Rule for this family: No one carries Ben outside of the house except us.