It Just Smells Bad…
Until my recent tooth removal, I hadn’t built up any sort of stored breastmilk supply. Not only because my supply was already a drizzle and it was just depressing watching the drips end at 1 ounce on each side, making me want to cry and scream to the Gods, “WHY ME, GODS?! Is it because of my blasphemous use of Gods over God because it’s just for effect! JUST FOR EFFECT!”, but because I wasn’t ever planning on being away from my son for longer than, you know, 10 seconds.
Thanks to the 8 whole hours I was out of it with the removal, I pumped 2 whole bags and one whole bottle of breastmilk for the freezer. We recently popped one out for Eric to use when I was at my 5 hour staff meeting early last month. When I called (which I managed to avoid for nearly 3 whole hours despite the continual let-downs because I couldn’t stop talking or thinking about him), Eric said he wouldn’t take it but he did finish nearly an entire avocado. He was hungry but didn’t want the milk. I did not freak. I did let-down…again.
When I got home, I inspected the milk and, AHA, it smelled soapy! I remembered the many stories of over-enthusiastic lipase making good, frozen milk smell like a bottle of liquid Dawn. “I know what this is! It’s too much lipase! It just smells bad, it’s okay to drink.”
Here is where I take a sip. Now, some people may think it’s gross or strange to taste one’s own breastmilk. I ask you people this, what’s stranger, drinking a bodily fluid from a source with which you are quite familiar, or drinking a bodily fluid from some random animal that could be out whoring around with HIV BIV positive bulls or doing intravenous bovine herione on her off days? Yeah, whatchu gotta say ’bout that?! Besides, it doesn’t taste bad.
Anyway, I sipped.
And I gagged. My Lord, did I gag. I also may have vomited a little in my mouth. Anyone who says soapy-smelling breastmilk is “just stronger” is insane. Not only did it smell like a bottle of Dawn but it tasted like a bottle of Dawn mixed with the essence of chicken bottom. It was that bad.
Needless to say, we’ll be stocking up on avocados come my all day meeting at the end of the month because there is no way Ben’s ever going to get chicken ass and dish soap in a bottle again. Until, of course, he hits that toddler “Mama, I won’t eat anything but chicken butt and Dawn…or tomato and pea salad” phase. And no child of mine is going to eat tomato and pea salad. No, sir. Not in this house.
Filed under breastfeeding, work | Comments (10)Why I’m Not Working Right Now
Because I’d rather post a blog about how I hate working right now.
While it’s wonderful that I’m bringing in the extra money we need as a family, it sucks.
While I think it’s great that I get to dust off my old coding skills and whip out my own content management system (woohoo!), it sucks.
While I do actually throroughly enjoy actually having something to do when sitting in front of my computer, it sucks.
I understand that I’m incredibly lucky, I get to work from home doing something I’m good at and that I somewhat enjoy. Something that, at one point, would suck up my entire universe and would make me terribly giddy. Now? Well, now it just seems like “more shit to do that keeps me away from my little boy”. I’m much better at being a mom than being a coder and I enjoy it a lot more.
Eric’s been wonderful. When I’m about ready to rip my hair out because my (handcoded..ahem ahem) event calendar isn’t working for God knows what reason, he debugs my code for me even though he’s never worked on PHP before. He holds onto the child as I work. I get him for naps and feeding, the rest of the time Eric keeps him entertained. Am I selfish because I’d rather he be with me?
“Why can’t he be?” you ask. “You’re just typing. Can’t he sit in your lap?”
Well, nosey, he could, except that I spend 4x the amount of time fixing his random typing in my code than I do actually coding. I’ve thought of it, I’ve tried it, it didn’t work out. If we didn’t need the money, I probably wouldn’t be doing it.
So, I’m avoiding work right now and spending a little time with my little boy, fixing his jabberings and letting him rip all the arrows off of my keyboard. He’s going to be ten key typing by 1 year. I’ll bet you.
Filed under etc, work | Comments (3)
