Today Tomorrow

I’m late. I’m always late.

Today, WhyMommy is having a double mastectomy. She’s an amazing woman battling inflammatory breast cancer. She has twitter updating on the right bar of her website. Check in and keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

Promise for Updates!

So, I’ve been really slacking. I know it. I promise I will update on Ben’s Christmas and New Years very soon!

Frageeeelieeeee…It must be Italian

From the the LA, I was given the leg. The major Italian award from the greatest Christmas movie ever and, since I am a selfish and lazy mofo, I am going to keep it for myself so that I don’t have to remember who got it and who didn’t.

Thank you, LA, I’m off to place it in the window until Eric jealously, accidently knocks it over.

Family Overload

I feel like nothing has stopped since Thanksgiving. I’ve been overly social all week and, honestly, I need a flippin’ break from interacting and, more importantly, a break from removing myself and my child from our jammies.

Saturday morning we spent arguing with Eric’s childhood friend over abortion, politics and breastfeeding. Yes, even breastfeeding. (Yet another blog with the boob being discussed!) I was aghast but had very little argument for his response regarding breastfeeding in public, “I’m uncomfortable with it because it’s not a normal thing to see, so I stare. I should have the right to stare because it’s strange.”
“It makes people uncomfortable when you stare. It’s sad that any person’s immediate response to breastfeeding is that it’s strange.”
“It is sad, but that’s the way it is. Change isn’t easy. You have to fight for it.”

While I agree that change is hard, I don’t agree that we need to put up with people staring at us just because they find it “strange”. It’s impolite. Even if you find it strange, you look, look away and think, “Huh, that’s strange.” I don’t see the point of staring. Anyhoo, that’s beside the point…

After Eric’s friend left, his sister came over. She’s visiting from Alaska and is staying with her parents. Immersed in the madness, poor woman. So we invited her over to spend the night. We spent a few more hours discussing family insanities and Zoloft. By 9pm, Ben was tired of the discussion and responded, accordingly, with the following:

We missed the part in which he was yelling in two different voices. I think this was his version of, “BLAH BLAAAAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAAAAAAAAAH! Do you people EVER shut up?” We’re raising quite an orator.

Sunday evening we spent with my family, watching Dexter and Weeds. Very little discussion involved, which I think Ben much preferred. There’s only so much politics one infant can take before he just wants to veg in front of a tv to learn about serial killers and marijuana.

I Make Stress Look Good

At the TEDDY study, the lady handed me a sheet of paper, “These are the things that may have happened to you during your pregnancy. Just tell me the numbers if any happened.” I began reading down the list:
Serious illness in the family…check
Family member hospitalized…check
Injury caused to yourself…check
Moved…check
Got married…check
Serious arguments with family members…check
Family member died…check
Lost or quit a job…check
Financial issues for yourself…check
Financial issues for your spouse…check

Her three lines for the stressors were filled, and the remainder of the numbers continued down the side of the page.

“Okay, so…what trimester did all these things happen?” The majority of it was in the first and second.

“You had a really busy pregnancy. Geeze. Like, really busy…” She was obviously in awe, as was I. I hadn’t realized, until that moment, that I had a really, like really, busy pregnancy. Things that really should’ve knocked me for a loop and pushed me into laying in a fetal position in the corner of my closet, crying for mercy.

But it didn’t and that makes me incredibly proud.

“Well, at least it’s not too bad now!”
“Yeah, it’s great…well, then he got colic and food allergies and then we got the diabetes call, so…”
She laughed, and I laughed with her but was wondering if I should have been. The past year and change has been a never-ending cacaphony of bad news, but it’s never really hit me as such. It’s always been case-by-case. Tomorrow’s a new day. I’ve never let it pile on top of itself. As well as it’s worked for me thus far, I wonder how sustainable it can be. I mean, shouldn’t all those things have had me holed up in a closet somewhere? Shouldn’t I be taking mass amounts of blood pressure medication and martinis? Why am I not freaking out here?

While I hope I never actually have that moment where I realize nothing has stopped since becoming pregnant, I do, on occasion, want to have a few “lost my mind” moments. Moments where I run around the house in a leotard, tutu and stripey toe socks while singing, “I’m tired of dancin’ here all by my-se-helf!” without being questioned. And, you know, I think I’ve finally found the perfect excuse. “But…I’m stressssssssssssssed!”

Birds, Butterflies & Bees Meet Bimbo

He was angry at the bees hanging from this toy, for some reason. He yelled GAGHAAAA at them everytime he grabbed them. The butterflies got a more gentle, “Gahummm.”

I can’t say enough how much I love this Bumbo(Bimbo) and, now, this catepillar. I actually had time to pee. ENOUGH TIME TO PEE! And I took full advantage of it. I sat instead of hovered. I leisurely waited for the water to get warm and then actually dried my hands off. You didn’t hear me right, I DRIED MY HANDS…ENTIRELY! I stretched, I sang to the birdies out the window, I…okay, I just peed and washed my hands but my God, was it amazing.

Name Game

Tagged by Stinky Molly.

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet, current car)
Pax Mercedes

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (favorite ice cream, favorite cookie)
Black Cherry Chocolate Chip

3. YOUR FLY “GUY/GIRL” NAME: (first initial first name, first 3 letters last name)
JRom

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Red Sloth

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Ann Denver

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters last name, first 2 letters first name)
RomJe

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink and add” the”)
The Orange Macchiato

8. NASCAR NAME: (first names of your grandfathers)
Rudy Joseph

9. STRIPPER NAME: (favorite perfume, favorite candy)
Princess Fudge (lmao)

10. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s and father’s middle names)
Christine Patrick

I tag Girl , Amelia and Andria.

Boy Boobehs!

So this was written about a year ago, but it’s news to me. Did you know they found a correlation between tea tree and lavender oils (in shampoos in the study) causing breast growth and early puberty in boys? It had the same response on breast cells as estrogen. It also discusses the effects certain plasticizers, placenta & estrogen shampoos, flame retardants and endocrine disrupters in cosmetics and prescription drugs. It’s a really interesting read.

Now I’m going to go throw away that damn boob growing lavender baby lotion.

Bill Maher is a Fucktard

As much as I tend to agree with his point of view, he’s a complete retard when it comes to breastfeeding in public. He talks about how women in other countries don’t feel entitled to do such things as complain about being unable to breastfeed in public…because they CAN breastfeed in public without it being a big deal. Some friends of ours discussed how, when travelling Europe, no one gave them a second look when the mom breastfed. While here, you’re subject to either oogling or foul faces from everyone around you.

I don’t understand how anyone who is not a parent and doesn’t understand that sometimes you can’t “plan ahead” any more than you already do (i.e. Shocker! The kid hits another growth spurt and his normal 20 minute nap after eating turns into a 3 minute nap and a 40 minute screamfest unless you put him on the boob) can blabber on about a subject he knows diddly squat about. So what do you do? Forego going anywhere until Americans decide seeing a woman’s boob isn’t SUCH a big deal (…never…leave…your…house…ever…again…) or let your baby scream and piss the entire restaurant off?

Bill Maher is a fucktard!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aa696L6M6Sw Forward to 7:13

Since when was eating intimate, btw???

Just Sad

The drive-in I’ve gone to since I was a child is being closed in order to build condos. CONDOS! We have one of the highest forclosure rates in the country and we’re shutting down an institution for CONDOS! So, Eric, the child and I are going to watch movies we could care less about seeing for a price we really can’t afford because this is the end of an era. How depressing is that?