Nod, Nod, Wink, Wink

As I mentioned in my previous post, Ben was all about trying to nurse at the fireworks show. I dressed for the occassion (as I always do) and was very discreet (as I always am) whenever I did nurse him. Unfortunately, as is the luck with Eric & I at public get-togethers, we ended up seated next to one of the loudest and most annoying families in the entire park.

They descended upon us after we’d already chosen our perfect spot in the grass. The kids were wrestling, popping those confetti bottles with no regard for the baby (my luck at parks sucks) and one of the dads kept yelling, “I LOVE AERIAL BOMBS! WAIT TILL WE SEE THE AERIAL BOMBS! MY FRIEND BROKE HIS FOOT SO HE AIN’T BEEN HUNTING…FOR AERIAL BOMBS! I’M GONNA DRINK BEER WHEN I WATCH THE AERIAL BOMBS! AERIAL BOMBS! AERIAL BOMBS! AERIAL BOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMBS!” Then proceeded to run in a circle screaming, “BOOM BOOM BOOM” and peeing on the lesser men in the audience.*

So, at one point, I’m nursing Ben and I look up just in time to catch the aerial bomb dad trying to catch the eye of the other dad by wiggling his beer at him. He then proceeds to smile knowingly, wink and nod in my direction. He caught me glaring at him just then and averted his eyes immediately. I shot the same look at the other dad just in time to catch him turning his head to look at me. Yet another eye aversion.

What the hell is up with that? Seriously. If you’re giving me the “hey, something dirty’s going on over there” look, then why not oogle? Is it because I look like the kind of girl who’d kick your ass? Or because you know you’re a raging idiot for trying to sexualize just knowing my baby’s nursing? Because, Lord knows, you couldn’t see any skin. I had clothing surrounding every possible side. Or maybe it was because I said, very loudly, “Oh yeah, because me feeding my son is totally more annoying than your kid screaming at the top of his lungs.”

*Actions mentioned in this sentence may or may not have happened.

Filed under 11 Month, breastfeeding, holidays, rant | Comment (1)

No, Daddy, I Don’t Wanna Look!

Despite being late, forgetting my camera, screaming and cursing all the way back to get my camera, parking a mile away, realizing we forgot the stroller and schlepping a 40lb diaper bag that entire way, Ben’s first 4th of July went pretty well. He did very well until the fireworks started and then his day of napping protest caught up to him. He went between wildly wiggling his arms at the fireworks, cheering along with the little girls behind us (they’d say “WOOH!” he’d say “GABADABABADAAAAAA!”) and trying to rip my shirt up while screaming at the top of his lungs.

At about the height of his “I’m dying! DYING!” freak out, a father walked behind us with his very unhappy son. “Look! Look at the fireworks.”
“Noooooooo, daddy! I don’t WANNA look!”

For a moment, I thought Ben was speaking and I was shocked. I mean, with the amount of f-bombs and sailor talk that was flying out of my mouth on the way down, I expected something a lot more creative than that.

Filed under 11 Month, holidays | Comment (1)