Because I’d rather post a blog about how I hate working right now.

While it’s wonderful that I’m bringing in the extra money we need as a family, it sucks.
While I think it’s great that I get to dust off my old coding skills and whip out my own content management system (woohoo!), it sucks.
While I do actually throroughly enjoy actually having something to do when sitting in front of my computer, it sucks.

I understand that I’m incredibly lucky, I get to work from home doing something I’m good at and that I somewhat enjoy. Something that, at one point, would suck up my entire universe and would make me terribly giddy. Now? Well, now it just seems like “more shit to do that keeps me away from my little boy”. I’m much better at being a mom than being a coder and I enjoy it a lot more.

Eric’s been wonderful. When I’m about ready to rip my hair out because my (handcoded..ahem ahem) event calendar isn’t working for God knows what reason, he debugs my code for me even though he’s never worked on PHP before. He holds onto the child as I work. I get him for naps and feeding, the rest of the time Eric keeps him entertained. Am I selfish because I’d rather he be with me?

“Why can’t he be?” you ask. “You’re just typing. Can’t he sit in your lap?”

Well, nosey, he could, except that I spend 4x the amount of time fixing his random typing in my code than I do actually coding. I’ve thought of it, I’ve tried it, it didn’t work out. If we didn’t need the money, I probably wouldn’t be doing it.

So, I’m avoiding work right now and spending a little time with my little boy, fixing his jabberings and letting him rip all the arrows off of my keyboard. He’s going to be ten key typing by 1 year. I’ll bet you.