Teddy Two

Benjaroo Jan 30th, 2008

Originally uploaded by jessiscubed

14lbs
25 5/8th inches

Ben’s second Teddy visit went wonderfully well. We had an amazing nurse and we got them to take the blood from his foot instead of vein this time. He nursed while she poked him. She kept saying, “He’s going to get mad when I do this…” He didn’t even notice. He bit me twice, though, because she wouldn’t let go of his foot. Those two little teeth are sharp!

So, I’m tired and this picture is adorable. I’m hoping it’ll suffice and make up for an extremely lackluster post.

What’ll Make Me Nearly Burst Into Tears?

This morning, I finally got Ben to repeat, “Mamamamama.” Everytime he did, I’d clap and hug him. He’d grin and repeat himself.

Later, I let him go a little too long before putting him down for his nap. He started crying the cry that makes me want to cuddle him for the rest of his life so nothing bad can ever happen. In the midst of this cry what came streaming out but, “Mamaaaaa! Mamaaaaa!” It was heart wrenching.

Eric said he didn’t know what he was saying. He may not have. My thought is that he knew saying it earlier made me grab him and hug him right away. He thought it might work again this time. Either way, if I get out of this whole mommyhood thing alive, without my heart being ripped in two, I’ll be really lucky.

Why I’m Not Working Right Now

Because I’d rather post a blog about how I hate working right now.

While it’s wonderful that I’m bringing in the extra money we need as a family, it sucks.
While I think it’s great that I get to dust off my old coding skills and whip out my own content management system (woohoo!), it sucks.
While I do actually throroughly enjoy actually having something to do when sitting in front of my computer, it sucks.

I understand that I’m incredibly lucky, I get to work from home doing something I’m good at and that I somewhat enjoy. Something that, at one point, would suck up my entire universe and would make me terribly giddy. Now? Well, now it just seems like “more shit to do that keeps me away from my little boy”. I’m much better at being a mom than being a coder and I enjoy it a lot more.

Eric’s been wonderful. When I’m about ready to rip my hair out because my (handcoded..ahem ahem) event calendar isn’t working for God knows what reason, he debugs my code for me even though he’s never worked on PHP before. He holds onto the child as I work. I get him for naps and feeding, the rest of the time Eric keeps him entertained. Am I selfish because I’d rather he be with me?

“Why can’t he be?” you ask. “You’re just typing. Can’t he sit in your lap?”

Well, nosey, he could, except that I spend 4x the amount of time fixing his random typing in my code than I do actually coding. I’ve thought of it, I’ve tried it, it didn’t work out. If we didn’t need the money, I probably wouldn’t be doing it.

So, I’m avoiding work right now and spending a little time with my little boy, fixing his jabberings and letting him rip all the arrows off of my keyboard. He’s going to be ten key typing by 1 year. I’ll bet you.

Today Tomorrow

I’m late. I’m always late.

Today, WhyMommy is having a double mastectomy. She’s an amazing woman battling inflammatory breast cancer. She has twitter updating on the right bar of her website. Check in and keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

We’ve Got a Toofer!

It started a month ago with a little bump on the bottom left front tooth area of the gum, followed by another about 1/8th of an inch away from it. Then, there were little white tips and we thought, “Any day now!” 2.5 weeks and a very, very horrible night later, Ben awakens me with his usual “Eh!” while trying to rip my lips off. He shoves my knuckle in his mouth and, while trying to shake it viciously in an attempt to break it’s neck, I feel something rough and sharp that wasn’t there before. After fighting for 10 minutes for him to stop laughing and covering his gum with his tongue when I pull down his bottom lip, I see it. A TOOFER! THE CHILD HAS A FULLY ERUPTED TOOFER!

Happy 6 Months

Height: 25.5″ (25%)
Weight: 13lbs 8oz (3%)
Head: 46.6 cm (20%)

So my little guy is tiny. He’s isty bitsy. But he’s happy and his doctor’s not worried, so I won’t be either.

My boy is so grown up already, it’s hard to believe. I’ve awakened next to him every morning for 6 months and, somehow, I didn’t notice how quickly he was becoming a big boy. He laughs, he smiles, he talks to you and tries to sing along. He finds the remote under the blanket when I’m trying to hide it from him. He looks for his books every morning on the side table that I always keep them on. He gets on all fours and launches himself toward whatever he wants to get at; things that are generally things he shouldn’t be getting into. He pulls himself up on me to stand, to walk (one day) and gives me the biggest grin I’ve ever seen. “Yeah, mama, I can do it. You’re in sooo much trouble.” It really doesn’t seem that long ago that he looked at me every few seconds as if I was an alien, now he holds his arms out and smiles everytime he sees me.

My little guy is half a year old. How did that happen so quickly? I see myself asking this every birthday for the rest of his life. It’s gone by so quickly but I wouldn’t trade a moment of it for anything else in the universe.

I love you, skinny lil’ man. Happy 6 month birthday.

First Solid Meal

I couldn’t wait the 6 months. I went 6 days early. He’s been wanting solid food for so long, it’s a shocker we managed to get this far without him learning how to walk just so he can eat in the middle of the night while we’re not looking.

Last night we strapped him into the high chair and I set to pumping so I’d have something to mix the powder with. In the meantime, Eric gave him a cheese wheel to play with and I tried not to worry that he’d rip it open, eat all the cheese and be sick for a month.

This was the first time I’d pumped in a long time, and, as usual, it took nearly 20 minutes to get an ounce and a half. Ben couldn’t possibly be surviving on 3 oz of breast milk every 2 hours, so I’m convinced that pumps and I just don’t get along. So there, to all those advice givers who kept saying, “Huh. That doesn’t make any sense…maybe you should pump more oftttttten.”

I mixed 1 tablespoon of rice powder (the overflow landing all over the floor…the floor that Eric just finished vacuuming) and 4T of breast milk (I nearly typed BM but, to me, BM is bowel movement and I just can’t manage to change that in my head) in his brand new, mama-gave-me-for-Christmas Classic Pooh bowl. Eric got the video camera and the regular camera ready. Yes, we are those people.

And then he ate.

And he liked it. He kept going for quite a while before doing something I’ve never seen him do before. He refused to allow anything else to enter his mouth. He was full, done, finito, that is it. Shocker.

He got more into his mouth than on his bib and I was incredibly proud of him, not to mention giddy because I (being the selfish mom that I am) was really, really excited to get a spoon in that boy for a long time.

He’s such a big boy.

Promise for Updates!

So, I’ve been really slacking. I know it. I promise I will update on Ben’s Christmas and New Years very soon!

Mama!

Ben said mama! Well, rather, he screeched mama while in a raging fit but he said it nonetheless! Whether or not he meant it is a different story.

I’ve been trying for months to get “mama” into Ben’s vocab. He’s got dadadadada down (again, whether or not he means it is a whole other story, but it is his favorite sound), as well as “papapapapa” and “thhthththththtttttt”. For a month or so, my dad and grandma have gotten him to say it. They’d say, “say mama.” Ben would respond with, “mamamamamama.” But for me? I’ve spent hours repeating, “mama mama mama” to him and in response I get a giant grin. Like, “Yeah, I know you want me to say it, this is why I won’t.” He’s an obstinate child.

However, I think it may have gotten through to him just a little. Last weekend Eric’s friend was over, we were having yet another 4 hour long debate on politics. Eric was holding Ben and, while Ben was obviously enjoying being in the action, it became nursing time. As usual, mini-fusses turned into a full blown, “SOMEONE HELP ME! I’M DYING!” fit within seconds. I looked over at the screaming child and what does he do? Looks me straight in the face, opens his arms and yells, “MAMA!”

And that, my dears, was the coolest moment of my entire life.