To Do List of Death
Okay, so maybe that’s overdoing it a little. It’s the “To Do List Before Your Vagina is Ripped in Twain”. Either way, the sucker has been dramatically cut down as of yesterday. I hate to brag but, seriously, my current feelings of awesomeness know no bounds.
All baby laundry washed in non-baby-harming detergent
All nightwear and onesies for up to 6 months put away in drawers All outfits up to six months hung in closet on hangers marked with correct sizes All clothing over 6 months in sealed bags on shelf - separated by size, nightwear vs clothing, pants vs tops, etc Room painted, dried and nearly outgassed Crib that will more than likely never be used assembled Bedding for crib that will more than likely never be used installed Cloth diapers for up to 30lbs ordered and are set to arrive Monday (As a side note, I should be hired to find deals for people - The cheapest package I found was $170 + $12 shipping. I got everything in that package from the same place + doublers, snappis and cirtrus circles for $150 INCLUDING shipping. I am the cheapy momma mastah!) Back up newborn disposible diapers purchased and in closet Diaper bag with going home outfits (in case he’s bigger than we think, I packed 2), receiving blankets, and "just in case we break down on the way home and he poos all over himself" disposible diapers packed — Wipes still needed Hospital bag still 90% packed Nursing gowns so as to avoid horrifying my mother when I pop out the boobie at the hospital ordered and set to arrive Monday Swing and bouncer purchased and set up Carseat purchased although not yet installedSo I made a deal with him. He’s allowed to come on any one of 3 days this month if he deems it necessary and I will not flog him. 6/10, 6/19 or 6/28. Otherwise, he’s more than welcome anytime beginning 7/1. Well, anytime except 7/4 because I refuse to spend every single birthday at a park watching fireworks with only 1/3 of his friends because they all already had plans for the 4th of July. 7/6 is another no-no day, but there’s only a ridiculous numerological reason behind it so I’ll spare you the details and let you think it’s just because I’m a “crazy hippy.”
Should he decide to come on any of the “not allowed” days, he will be forcibly shoved back in and grounded to the womb until 7/7. The one time where using, “This’ll hurt me more than it will you,” may actually be true.
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You are awesome. Now you are ready! (Right?)
It would be the BEST if he came on 7/7! How cool would that be?
You go girl, rage on with your bad self!
You’re so funny, Jess! You know, you’re so prepared you could be on Bringing Home Baby–they’re always featuring immaculately prepared first time moms.
My deal with Deeder was that he could not arrive before 7/1. My husband’s new insurance which would cover the delivery didn’t kick in until then.
Good luck!
Hey, hook a girl up with the diaper info!