I’ve been working on trying to start my own business for quite a while. Unfortunately, by the time things really start going with any business I begin, I get that biting feeling of inadequacy and stop pushing myself as hard as I should. It’s never been a real problem. I always had an extra job to fall back on and few enough bills that it didn’t matter if I was working for $7.50 or $15 an hour. It all flew out the door at the same rate.

However, with this little moocher on the way, it’s become more and more apparent that I need to have some serious income. Eric and I have both had the luxury of working freelance for the past few years, but it’s never quite brought in enough money. At this point, it’s almost sucking more money than it’s giving back.

Yesterday, both the Eric and I began the arduous job search on craigslist. I began putting together my portfolio (something I should be working on now), and he emailed places near home. I’m trying to get on the ball with my baby sling business, but I’ve now managed to spend 3x as much on fabric as I’ll probably ever make on the slings. I’m ridiculous.

It’s hard for me to imagine Eric working out of the home. It’s been so nice to have him here, the idea of him leaving actually makes me feel lonely. I know it’s necessary because it’s important for both of us to have as much time with this child as possible, and for at least one of us to be home with him continually. I’m just not entirely sure how we’re going manage to make those completely opposite ideas work in the same universe.