I did not expect nor really want a baby shower. Let me make that perfectly clear. Suddenly, my mother and grandmother were having quite a little tiff over who would throw it for me. To make a long story short, if there was to be a shower, it was to be thrown by my mother, period.

So for the past 2 months we’ve had a couple of issues with when and where it would be thrown. See, my idea of the perfect “shower” is where I am not the center of anything. Where people can come over to a BBQ in my backyard, hang out, bring gifts if they’d like, bring their kids, their husbands, their grandmas, whatever. Inexpensive and informal. My mom, on the other hand, her shower included spending $300 on a restaurant banquet room & catering, “stare at the lady opening the gifts,” etc.

Since I never wanted a baby shower to begin with, I didn’t fight back for anything other than it must be a couples shower – I’m not dealing with these people by myself, Eric has to be miserable with me. I’m resigned to the fact that this shower is for her and my grandmother. I’m inviting exactly one person. Between she and grandma, they’re inviting many family members I haven’t seen in years (and don’t necessarily want to see) and co-workers.

Today, dad asked me if I thought the shower thing was going to happen. I said I doubted it but I wasn’t planning on saying anything since mom was so busy she’d probably forget anyway. I’d rather not have the shower to begin with, and instead have that money spent on things we actually need as opposed to a party, food and gifts for people I don’t even like. He agreed and said he’d rather just give me the money for things I needed anyway.

Unfortunately, he didn’t listen to the part about “I wasn’t planning on saying anything” because the minute mom came around, he said, “We were talking about that shower you were going to throw and decided not to do it.” My poor mom. She looked terribly disappointed and whined out a, “Whyyyyyyy?” I tried to explain (while trying not to shoot huge knives out of my eyes into dad’s head) why I wasn’t so keen on the shower – the cost, the relatives, the fact that Eric’s friends probably wouldn’t feel comfortable bringing their kids, etc.

She gave me a look like a puppy that had just been kicked when all it wanted was a hug and said, “I just want to do what’ll make you happy. I don’t want you to feel bad that you won’t have a shower.”
“I won’t feel bad, I didn’t really want a shower, anyway.”
Big, teary eyes here, “Oh…”
“But, why don’t you call the place and find out the cost. Maybe we can do it a little cheaper, okay?”
“*sniff* Okay.”

I believe I just got a taste of what it’s going to be like when I tell Ben that, although I appreciate him bringing me a frog for my birthday, we need to send him back to his home…and then we’ll end up with a pet frog.

This week, your baby measures about 16 inches long. He weighs a little over 3 pounds and is headed for a growth spurt. He can turn his head from side to side, and he’s beginning to accumulate a layer of fat underneath his skin in preparation for life as a newborn. As a result, his arms, legs, and body are filling out.
 

((Dear Lord, this is going by WAY too fast.))

Since moving into the new house, a trip to the OB’s office ended up being an entire day’s ordeal. As much as I love my OB, getting up 3 hours previous to any appointment and driving for 40 minutes on a highway with pot holes the size of small lakes to get there was just not my idea of a good time. Not that OB appointments are ever a good time, what with the needles in the arm and the weird metal things in, you know, that place. Not to mention she doesn’t deliver at the hospital closest to me. I was not about to drive that 40 minutes on that damn highway while in labor. Imagine a very angry, violent woman throwing raw meat and amniotic fluid at cars on the way. It wouldn’t be pretty.

Since I am a tad bit of a hippy, I decided to look into midwives in the area. I’m quite lucky in that my hospital has a CNM practice that works directly with them. I’m also lucky that my hospital has jacuzzis, squat bars and birthing balls in every one of their rooms, and the CNMs are not afraid to use them. Again, as much as I love my OB, when I mentioned the possibility of a waterbirth, I got a very sweet, but frightening look. The look of blind amazement and intrigue, something you never want to see on the face of your doctor when you mention a procedure you’d like them to assist in performing. “How does the doctor deliver the baby if it’s in water, then?” And that was that.

I was a bit nervous going in to see the midwives for the first time. They were at a “women’s clinic.” I’ve never known anything good to happen at “clinics.” I was fully prepared for a waiting room full of very pregnant crack whores. Yes, I do realize how ridiculous I am. Thank you for pointing that out to me. One thing they do not tell you about pregnancy, you lose all brain function. Be prepared to say and think the stupidest things you’ve ever said in your whole life, and repeat yourself 400-500 times. Ben is eating my brain.

Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised. The office was beautiful and the staff was as nice as staff generally is – you know, the type of people you’d never invite out anywhere but wouldn’t necessarily throw poo at either. The nurses were wonderful. It was all lovely.

We met with the midwife and she was a sweetheart. It’s a practice of 7, that I will probably not meet before I give birth. However, she assured me that although their personalities are all very different, their professional philosophies all remain quite consistent with one another. She took the time to answer our questions about when to call, cutting the cord, taking the placenta home, everything I could think of. She was wonderful. Really, as much as I love my OB, I always felt like she was on her way out the door. This woman sat down and talked to us for 20 minutes. It was incredibly comforting.

It also helped that I never once got that look. The midwife knows how to use and loves the jacuzzis. It’s quite comforting to know your healthcare provider is right on board with you. Again, as much as I love my OB, this just feels like it’ll be the better fit for me and I’m terribly excited.

First appt with the midwives!