Travel Systems and Boosters and Pumps, Oh My!

Why must there be so many options for ONE THING?  Why has no one published a paper called, “The Crap New Parents Do Not Need, and the Crap They Do.”

Do I really need a travel system and a convertible car seat if I’m planning on carrying the kid around in a sling anyway? Can’t I just buy one of those $10 umbrella strollers instead of one of those $200, 200lbs stroller-the-size-of-a-car? Wait, no, I have to have the stroller-the-size-of-a-car because the umbrella ones don’t lay down, and babies must lay down. I’m not kidding. They really must.

What’s the point of any infant carrier, anyway, if I’m supposed to register for a convertible car seat, too? To be able to carry the kid around in it’s matching stroller and have it laying down, right? Then why does the stoller in the travel system lay down? Why must I attach an infant carrier to it instead of just using the lay down feature in the stroller and placing the kid in the convertible car seat when he must be transported? Why should I spend more for an extra infant carrier when I can only use it for a few months and it’s not necessary for proper infant stroller use? Why can’t I just buy the stroller-the-size-of-a-car and the convertible car seat and skip the travel system all together? If it’s the wrong choice, baby doesn’t lay down right, no blood gets to his head, tragic death.

Booster seats vs high chairs. WTF?! Why do we even have a choice? They both do the same thing. Just point one or the other out to me and let me buy it. I don’t need or want both. Do you think my house is the size of a small mall or what? Why do you expect that I should have to choose between the two? THEY BOTH DO THE SAME THING! I can’t make these kind of decisions, I’m pregnant. They should already be made for me. Wrong choice? Baby tips over, hits head, tragic death.

Why are there so many types of cloth diapers? Do there REALLY need to be that many? I see two that are necessary. Regular old diapers and AIO’s. What’s the point of the others? Just to drive me insane? That’s it, isn’t it? You people get off on driving pregnant women insane. WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! Don’t pick the right one? Baby gets diaper rash, horrible infection, tragic death.

Pack n Play vs Bassinet. We’ll probably be co-sleeping most of the time, but we’re going to eventually move the kid into his own room, which will probably require baby in own bed in our room at first. So what do we do? Pack n Play’s bassinet only holds up to 15lbs. An actual bassinet? Up to 20. With either, we’ll eventually need a crib, either way. Pick the wrong one? Baby falls through on his face, horrible nose bleed, tragic death.

And for style. Do we get the Classic Pooh everything and hope we still like it when we have our next? Do we go all gender nuetral and hope everything’s still in good condition for the next? Do we just throw the kid in the closet and hope it learns to fend for itself because, no matter what choice we make, it’ll be wrong? And, yup, that’s right, end tragic baby death.

Filed under 2nd trimester, pregnancy, rant |