Edukation

I can’t help but whine about this. If you are making an exceptionally snotty, judgemental statement about someone’s “level of education,” please make sure you check your spelling. I get typos, but when you spell (for example) ”equal” as “eikuwal”, that is not a typo. How can anyone take someone discussing education seriously when they can’t even spell very simple words correctly?

Hey pot, meet kettle. You two have a lot in common.

This Week in Pregnancy - Week 18

Head to bottom, your baby is approximately 5 1/2 inches long (about the length of a large sweet potato) and she weighs almost 7 ounces. She’s busy flexing her arms and legs — movements that you’ll likely start noticing more and more. Her blood vessels are visible through her thin skin and her ears are now in position and stand out from her head. Myelin (a protective covering) is beginning to form around her nerves, a process that will continue for a year after she’s born. If you’re having a girl, her uterus and Fallopian tubes are formed and in place. If your baby is a boy, his genitals are noticeable, though he may hide them from you during an ultrasound.

This Week in Pregnancy - Week 17

Your baby weighs about 5 ounces now, and he’s around 5 inches long — about the size of a large onion. He can move his joints, and his skeleton — until now rubbery cartilage — is starting to harden to bone. His sense of hearing is also developing. The umbilical cord, his lifeline to the placenta, is growing stronger and thicker.

This Week in Pregnancy - Week 16

At 4 1/2 inches long (head to bottom) and 3 1/2 ounces, your baby is about the size of an avocado. In the next three weeks, she’ll go through a tremendous growth spurt, though, doubling her weight and adding inches to her length. Her lower limbs are much more developed now. Her head is more erect than it has been, and her eyes have moved toward the front of her head. Your baby’s ears are close to their final position, too. Some of her more advanced body systems are working, including her circulatory system and urinary tract. Her heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood each day, circulating her total blood volume through her body many times. (By the end of your pregnancy, this will increase to about 190 quarts.) The patterning of her scalp has begun, though her hair isn’t recognizable yet. Although closed, her eyes are moving (slowly), and she’s even started growing toenails.

This Week in Pregnancy - Week 15

At around 4 inches long, crown to rump, your baby now weighs about 2 1/2 ounces. He’s busy inhaling and exhaling amniotic fluid, which will help develop the air sacs in his lungs. His legs are growing longer than his arms now, and he can move all his joints and limbs. That means his hands are more functional, too. Sweat glands are appearing, and although his eyelids are fused shut, he can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, he’s likely to move away from the beam. There’s not much for your baby to taste at this point, but his taste buds are beginning to form. And if you have an ultrasound, you may be able to find out whether your baby’s a boy or girl! (Don’t be disappointed if it remains a mystery, though. Nailing down the sex depends somewhat on how clear the picture is and the position of your baby during the ultrasound; he may be curled or turned in such a way as to keep you in suspense.)

“You’re going to be a grandma….Hello? Hello?”

After the appointment last night, we went to grandma’s to help her change grandpa’s doctor. We walked in and grandma immediately put her hand on my stomach. Why? No clue. She’s a very “in tune” woman and can generally guess surprises well before we even come near telling her.
“We have big news.”
“What?” She took her hand off my stomach.
“Put your hand back. Guess.” It took her a minute to figure it out, but when she did, she began screaming and dancing in the hallway. I can always count on grandma for a good reaction.

I then called mom. She gave the exact response I was expecting. Pure, unbridled annoyance and pissed-offedness. She kept saying she already knew and I should’ve told her earlier. She then said, “Well, you told me you had all this under control,” meaning birth control. I said it was an accident, and they happen. In fact, she got pregnant with me while on birth control. She kept repeating I should’ve told her sooner. I finally had to say, “Why? So you could’ve told me to have an abortion?” She stuttered and, in her sweet, fake surprise voice, she says, “Why would I do thaaaaaaaat?” She then said, “Well, I guess congratulations.” I told her not to say it if she didn’t mean it, I knew she was pissed. Of course, she’s not pissed, “I’m just shocked.” Wait, I thought you already knew? What are you shocked about. Meh. We end with, “Well, you’d better tell your father because I’m not going to be the one to tell him.”

I call my dad, scared to death that he’s going to rip me a new one. His response? “I already knew that! Congratulations! It’s about time we had a new baby in the house!” He was completely happy for us. I nearly cried, “This is a good thing, right?” “Hell yes! Shit, Jess, you’re 25. It’s not like you’re 16.” I was entirely happy.

I called mom back, to let her know I’d told dad and to get some information about getting grandpa a new doctor. I told her dads reaction and, instead of feigning even a small amount of joy, she hangs up on me. At least she never fails to not live up to my expectations.

She’s stopped being angry, but she refuses to talk about the baby. Dad can’t stop. He wants to know what we’re hoping for, what we’re naming it, and when I’m taking all my stuffed animals out of this house and to the new one, “because babies should have stuffed animals.” I’m glad most my family are happy for me, and it feels so much better to have that off our plates.

Eric called his parents when we got home. His mom’s reaction, “Oh…that’s…great. I guess…if that’s what you guys want.” His dad? His dad was completely excited, and congratulated us immediately. I’m glad we both have at least one parent happy for us.

Now everyone knows….I guess I’m actually pregnant, aren’t I?

Emergency Ultrasounds Yield No Photos

I went to my appointment yesterday, and discussed the spotting with the doctor. She whipped out the doppler, and, lo and behold, there was the little heartbeat. Around 160bpm. That was so comforting. However, because of the spotting, and placenta previa, she sent me in for an emergency ultrasound downstairs in the hospital.

First, I had to drink 24oz of water before the appointment. I did, but I did it entirely too early and had to pee right before I went in. So, I drank about 28oz in the waiting room. It was horrifying. Who’s idea was it to make pregnant women drink insane amounts of water right before you press (hard) on their bellies?!

I got my first “on belly” ultrasound and it was strange. The pictures are no where near as clear. Of course, that could be partially due to the machine not being nearly as good as the one in my OBs office. She spent about 30 minutes on top of my belly, then had me go pee so she could check my cervix with a transvaginal. She got about 10 minutes into that and said, “Your bladder’s already filling up…Could you maybe go pee again? I can’t see anything.” So I went again, and 10 minutes later, it began filling up again. She said she’d probably already gotten every picture she needed, so she had me get redressed, called Eric in and went back to a belly ultrasound so he could see.

Unfortunately, we couldn’t have pictures because it was an emergency, but we got to see the little one moving around a bit. S/He was laying on it’s side with one arm under his head, the other across his body and under his head. It was adorable. The head is now more in proportion to the body, which makes my vagina and I much less nervous. Still, the baby is HUGE! It’s still measuring at least a week early in length, but I’m sticking to my July 1st date. It’s so beautiful. I can’t wait for July to get here.

This Week in Pregnancy - Week 14

Head to bottom, your baby’s 3 1/2 inches long — about the length of a lemon — and weighs about 1 1/2 ounces. Her body’s growing faster than her head, which now sits upon a more well-defined neck. By the end of this week, her arms will have lengthened and will be in proportion to the rest of her body. (Her legs still have some growing to do, though.) She’s starting to develop an ultra-fine, downy covering of hair all over her body (called lanugo). Her liver starts secreting bile this week, a sign that it’s already functioning properly, and her spleen starts contributing to the production of red blood cells. She’s also producing and discharging urine into the amniotic fluid, a normal process that she’ll keep up until birth. You still can’t feel your baby’s movements, but her hands and feet (which are now half an inch long) are more flexible and active. Thanks to brain impulses, her little facial muscles are getting a workout as she squints, frowns, and grimaces. She can grasp now, too, and she may be able to suck her thumb.

Week of the Weak

How do I begin?

Last week, grandpa started having severe heartburn on the 24th. On the 26th, grandma took him to Kaiser (in Aurora, Colorado - want the name of the dumbass doctor? Let me know!), and the doctor sent him home with Prevacid. What? An 83 year old man is complaining of chest pains and severe “heartburn”, and you send him home with Prevacid? The 27th, we took him into emergency at St. Joseph’s hospital. They had him in an EKG for 5 minutes when they rushed him up to surgery. He had 3 main arteries close, they had to do an angioplasty to open one. It was touch and go for a few days. They couldn’t decide if, because of his age, he’d be able to handle a bypass. They kept him until 2 days ago, then sent him home to strengthen his heart for the bypass in 3 weeks. Grandpa is a strong man. He’s feeling better and wants to shovel the walk, already. I may have to tie him down should he try that.

The 28th, we were driving back from closing on the house (YAY!) in Denver Blizzard II, and some girl rear-ended me at a stop light. Rear-ended me going about 25 mph. I spotted lightly for a couple of days afterwards, but tried not to worry too much. I had an appointment for the 4th, so I decided just to wait it out.

We spent New Years in the house. It was fer-reezing, but it was ours. Unfortunately, sleeping in a freezing cold house has left me with a raging cold, and a strange sort of ear and eye ache that I only get when I’m in the house. It’s strange.

So, the 26th through 1st were pretty horrifying. I’m just so glad the week is over.