It’s Normal, Really

I went to my 3rd OB appointment yesterday. I love the women in that office and I love my doctor. Seriously, they rock.

The appointment started off with the same ol’, same ol’. Weight gain = 1lb. Pee = Still pregnant. Blood pressure = Perfect. The nurse asked if I’d felt the baby moving yet. NO! Am I supposed to? Ack, there’s a baby inside me! What the hell?!?

When the doctor came in, she ran through the usual questions. Any cramping? No. Any bleeding? Yes, but I wasn’t worried about it. It was during the heavy yakking of the food poisoning. Well, that did warrant a worry, apparently, and I have to get another ultrasound. Not that I’m complaining! I’d love to have another picture of the little sucker. I’m just worried now.

She put the cold gel on my belly and popped down the doppler. She warned me that we probably wouldn’t hear the heartbeat since I was all of 10 weeks, and it’s normal to hear it at 12. 1 minute of strange gurgling noises out of the machine later, no heartbeat. “Don’t worry, it’s normal.” Great…bleeding, ultrasound, no heartbeat.

My appointment is tomorrow and I’m scared they’re going to tell me the baby’s heart stopped beating when I gave it botchilism last week. They’re going to tell me my body is so f’d that it didn’t even eject it itself. They’re going to tell me all my hopes went down the drain with a polish sausage and onions.

I’m scared and I’m trying not to freak out but it’s incredibly hard. My nausea is almost gone, that’s not helping. I’m scared, which is probably normal, really.

Filed under 1st trimester, doctor appointment, pregnancy, ultrasound |