Losing Blood and Belly

November 3rd, 2006

Wednesday was my first full day of morning sickness. It NEVER went away. The nausea was under the surface no matter what I did. It didn’t help that we were off looking for houses and the realtor drove a little crazy. I had to stop and get saltines or I would’ve yakked all over the backseat of his rental van. I also developed a strange heart palpitation at night, that we thought was thanks to all the cheese I’d eaten - I’m lactose intolerant.

Thursday, I woke up more nauseated than I’ve ever been. We still made it to my appointment, but an half an hour late, because I’d written it down as 10 instead of 9:30. They were very sweet, however, because my doctor is just really sweet and so is every single member of her staff.

Eric came in with me, and barely batted an eyelash when he saw me lay my pee on the counter. Want to get your man used to seeing your pee sitting on tabletops? Use Dollar Store pregnancy tests! They took my blood pressure, and my usual “blood pressure of the dead” is elevated - already listed on the “Things to be Grounded for” list. The nurse laughed at our amount of home testing, and then said, “well, you’re definitely pregnant.” That was a little surreal.

My wonderful doctor came in and congratulated us. That was weird! I sound so immature, I am..I’m a baby. What am I doing having a kid? I’m an only child! I won’t be the baby anymore! People will expect me to be responsible. I can’t handle this!

…..Sorry. Fetal position crying session over…

She went over a million questions about history, discussed the blood tests I’d need, and handed the blood work paperwork over to Eric. She left and let me dress in a CLOTH butt showing gown. Eric held my clothing while she did the whole specuulum thing.
“A little uncomfortable…ow…there, Eric?”
“No, I’m just worried about the whole blood thing.”
“There’s no blood right now…” I knew he meant the blood work to be done later in the afternoon.
The doctor responded with, “Not for a few more months! Then it’s all over!” His eyes got about 2 feet tall.

We talked about hospitals and natural birth, which she completely supported and seemed almost excited for me about. She said I should look at out of network hospital costs and suggested a hospital that heavily supported epidural-free birth. I really love my doctor. She also said my heart palpitations were thanks to my levothyroxine. I need my dose upped.

As we left, they handed us a heavy bag full of Enfamil, Similac, prenatals, paperwork and magazines. That was the moment it hit me. A baby was coming…and it was coming home with me…What the hell am I doing raising a kid?! I can’t….wait, we’ve already been through this…

We went down and got bloodwork from the BEST tech that ever existed. She got 5 vials out of me without anything more than the first prick. She didn’t move the needle once. Eric even watched and didn’t pass out. Her name was Wendy, and she will be drawing my blood from now on or I won’t go!

I have my first ultrasound on Tuesday that will tell me how far along I am. I’ll also get my bloodwork results then. I’m completely excited, and nervous…and what the HELL am I going to do with a kid?!

We went to eat afterwards, and I got about half of my salad down before I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I walked as quickly as I could to the bathroom, and managed to walk in right behind a woman with her daughter. I thought, “Okay, I’ll just hold it in. I’ll pee first, wait till they leave, then puke.” Who ever thought you couldn’t convince your body to not throw up when it wants to? I had barely locked the door when….bluaghhhhhhh. The poor woman kept telling her daughter to hurry up with every horrible vomit noise I would make — which are impossible to stifle, by the way! I wanted to run out and scream, “I swear, I’m not bulimic and I’m not going to get your child sick! I’m pregnant! It’s not my fault!” I felt awful.

However, I’ve learned that eating all day will keep you from puking. A piece of toast, a banana an hour later, maybe some oatmeal in another hour, it keeps everything from coming up. If you wait to eat, though, until you begin to feel nauseas, you will puke and it will not be pretty…but you will feel better. So what does one do? Get fat or puke all the time? Me? I’m going the fat route!

We bid on a house. It’s adorable, and my parents didn’t freak out nearly as much as I thought they would. Still, the house is just yet another thing for me to stress about and I’m simultaneously scared to death that we’ll get it, and that we won’t. Sometimes I feel in way too far over my head. Other times, I’m completely calm and happy about the choices we’ve made. I’m not sure how to deal with any of this right now. It’s all overload. I know I can handle it, because I have to. It’s just really scary. Really, really, really scary.