Let me begin by saying I am a raging idiot. I figured, what the hell, a little polish sausage from Costco won’t kill me. Toss in a few onions and some mustard, mmm mmm good. We had to be at the house at 8am for the furnace and plumbing guys to come check the horrifying inspection report we’d gotten on the house. I thought a second about the polish sausage…Listeria. It was cooked thoroughly, so I got over it and scarfed the sucker down.

6am comes. I wake up nauseous beyond belief. I take my thyroid pill and pray that I can go back to sleep for an hour before I need to yakk. No such luck. I surpressed until 6:35. I’m proud of that, I’ve never felt so sick in my life. I prayed to the porcelain god for over an hour, all the time with nothing in my stomach. If you’ve read my symptom updates, you’ve read that I have had the unfortunate experience of letting bladder loose everytime I vomit. Well, this time, I lost control of ALL bodily functions. Again, I have never been so sick in my life.

7:15am – We head out of the house. I feel horrible. I try eating a blueberry muffin to avoid a repeat of the empty belly, flourescent yellow, painful yakk of the morning. Eric’s trying to drive carefully so I don’t eject myself out of the roof of the car. I surpresseed for 25 minutes. Again, I am proud. Eric then hit the brakes on the highway. You can guess what happened next.

We get to the house around 8 and I managed to get through the whole rest of the day without throwing up. I even went out to eat, and got a bite and a half down. We returned home and I couldn’t stop shivering. I was freezing cold. I had no fever but I certainly felt like I had one. I kept trying to eat a muffin, things that would keep me from empty belly pukes and surpressed until 1am. Then it came, harder than ever before. I have never been so sick in my life, this life, past lives or any future ones. To top it off, I bled a little and it scared the hell out of me.

It ended around 4. I finally got to sleep and, upon waking, scared the hell out of myself reading what food poisoning can do to pregnancies. I called the doctor at 2 and her nurse said, “You’re fine. If it’s over with, you’re just fine. Don’t worry about it.”

So, I’m trying not to worry about it. Even though I’m now convinced my child will be born 3 months early and have some horrible mutation because my idiot self decided to eat Costco onions that had probably been sitting out for weeks on end. I am an idiot.

According to Babycenter:

Your new resident is nearly an inch long — barely the size of a grape — and weighs just a fraction of an ounce, but he’s poised for rapid weight gain now that his basic physical structure is in place. He’s also starting to look more and more human. His embryonic “tail” is now completely gone and his body parts — including organs, muscles, and nerves — are kicking into gear.

His eyelids are fused shut and won’t open until 27 weeks. He has earlobes, and by week’s end, the inner workings of his ears will be complete. His upper lip is fully formed, too, and his mouth, nose, and nostrils are more distinct. The tips of his fingers are slightly enlarged where his touch pads are developing. All major joints — his shoulders, elbows, wrists, knees, and ankles — are working, enabling your baby to move his limbs. As for his heart, it has divided into four chambers now, and the valves have started to develop. External sex organs are there, but won’t be distinguishable as male or female for another few weeks.

This week hasn’t been the worst. It was actually pretty dealable. I think I yakked once the whole week. It was great. You know you’re pregnant when your idea of an awesome day is one you spend disgustingly nauseous, but not throwing up.

Besides the fact that I’m not looking forward to putting my poor dizzy dog into a car and dragging him all the way across the city, I’m not really looking forward to the idea of Thanksgiving at all this year.

I’ve never been a huge fan of turkey, but just the thought of the smell is making me gag out loud. The idea of ham makes me want to forcibly remove my tongue. It really is that bad. I can’t help but picture how things will look on the way out, so everything with brown gravy horrifies me.

However, I am looking very forward to mashed potatoes, sans gravy. I could eat piles of that right this moment. In fact, I think it may be the only thing I’ll be eating for thanksgiving this year. Which I am completely okay with.

According to Babycenter:

Your baby is now 5/8 of an inch long, about the size of a kidney bean. She’s constantly moving and shifting, although you won’t be able to feel these womb wiggles for several weeks yet. Her embryonic tail is disappearing, and her eyelids practically cover her eyes. Still slightly webbed, her fingers and toes are growing longer. Her arms have lengthened, too, and her hands are now flexed at the wrist and meet over her heart. Her knee joints have formed, and her feet may be long enough to meet in front of her body. With her trunk straightening out, her head is more erect. Breathing tubes extend from her throat to the branches of her developing lungs. The nerve cells in her brain are also branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways. Though you may be daydreaming about your baby as one gender or another, the external genitals still haven’t developed enough to reveal whether you’re having a boy or a girl.