I’ve never been one who couldn’t keep a secret. Just ask **** from the 3rd grade, she told me she liked ***** and wanted to kiss him. He still has no clue. It goes into the vault, as long as it’s not a secret of my own.

The longest I’ve lasted with a secret of my own has been 2 weeks. I spent each day of that two weeks not sleeping, wanting to call people and hinting every chance I got. “Oh, you like WHAM? Getting a better job is great, isn’t it?” I’m really just not good at keeping my mouth shut when I’m excited about something.

That said, we decided to try to last until Friday to tell our close friends. That way we have positive confirmation by the doctor before we go blabbering everywhere. Ideally, we would’ve waited until we were 12 weeks along. That’s like asking me to stop breathing for 12 weeks, and we all know that’s not going to happen. So a 2 week gag order seemed doable.

Apparently, we have less self control than we thought we did.  First, it was just 2 people. Mine was by accident, I had to tell her because I couldn’t tell Eric right that moment. He was playing chess with my dad. So I told one of my closest friends. Eric, then, had a free pass to tell one person and told his sister. We decided that would be it.

Yesterday, we went to see a 9-11 Truth lecture in Boulder. A co-worker/friend of Eric’s came along. We got 20 feet away from the car when Eric says, “Should we tell him the good news?” That phrase bothered me, for some reason, so I said something that bothered me even more, “Apparently, I’m with child.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say. It’s much stranger telling people in person than I thought. I felt almost embarrassed or ashamed. Like I was just admitting to a perfect stranger that I have sex. It was incredibly uncomfortable.

He asked, “Did you test or…” Eric responded with, “No, we go in…” I finished, “Thursday.” This left the poor man thinking we were just guessing that I was pregnant out of no where. About 10 minutes later, he asks, “So, do you have any symptoms? Why do you think…” I had to explain that I’d taken about 6 home pregnancy tests, and you could see his ‘these people are nuts’ face disappear. He was very sweet and said if we needed anything, he has tons of baby stuff – he has twins.

So, I’m trying very hard not to tell my friends until Friday, but I’m having a harder and harder time. I keep wanting to drop hints, or “let it slip.” My family won’t know until 12 weeks, period. That’s a whole other story. My friends, though, that’s going to be much harder.